It's been 4 days

So I made it through my first week back at school. My weekend was good, saturday I didn't really get anything done but sunday was very productive! My boyfriend and I got 3 and a half projects done between the two of us. Which is great! I really needed to get stuff done because I have not been work on anything......at all! So sunday was great! I have to go and do my Dog walking job today and then over to the bf's to work on some more stuff. I am a little upset right now though because I was going to sleep in this morning since I don't have a period 1 class but I woke up at 5:20....so much for sleeping in but thats the story of my life. So I am just going to shower and relax till 9:20 then off to school. UGH SCHOOL!

Toria <3

Today was.....alright.

Today actually went alright. I had ANOTHER fight with my dad. Then i went to school and Nic kept my mind off of what today was. I do miss my grandfather but I know he wouldn't want me to be down all day. I hope that i can do that for the next two weeks also because I have 2 more bad days. one next week and one the week after that. I spent alot of time with my boyfriend tonight which was nice. We are very suspisious that his little brother may have a girlfriend.......mwahahaha. We are gonna investigate! When we find anything out I'll be sure to post. Tomorrow is Friday, Thank goodness! I am sooo ready for the weekend! But I have to work and get projects done....ugh never mind the weekend is gonna suck! I am going to try and start a workout regiment soon. My boyfriend and I are really wanting to get into shape.....I mean we're not fat but we just don't excersise as much as we should. I will also post about that once it gets going.

Toria <3

Missing my Grandfather......alot

Today is the two year aniversary of my grandfather's death. I don't feel ready for today. I don't feel ready for it to have been 2 years since I've seen my grandfather, since I held his hand and told him I loved him. I wish I could go back and see him one more time. I wish that sooo much. I think today is going to be hard. My boyfriend knows what today is and he is going to be looking out for me. I just wish I could stay in bed all day and not have to be around anyone. I could just lay in bed and cry and miss my grandfather. I know that he would want me to just move on, but how can I? I lost so many love ones two years ago so there are alot of aniversarys and there will be a one year aniversary this year also. I will post again tonight.....maybe to see how my day went.

Toria </3

FUCK MY LIFE!

Fuck this! I'm having a bad day and it's oly 9am. I just got into a fight with my dad and sister and I am soo angry! This is the second day that he's upset me before I had to go to school. I don't even want to go now but I don't want to be around him so going to school upset is better than being stuck in the house with him all day. I love my family but I'm just sick of the way things work around here. Any time I try to say what I'm feeling I get fucking yelled at! WTF! I am sooo done with this shit! I'm leaving for school soon and I don't know if I'll be coming back to the house untill late tonight. And if I do come home after school I'll be in my room all night! Thats where I spend most of my nights because it's too hard to be anywhere near people. So thanks to my dad and sister i am now very upset my anxiety is through the roof and i feel sick.....good job guys!

Toria </3

Back to school...

So yesterday was the first day back to school, and things didn't go well. I woke up feeling sick and then got in a HUGE fight with my dad. So when I finally got to school I was trying to keep from crying and I met up with my boyfriend and he started asking me what was wrong and I told him and I finally got myself calmed down and managed to make it untill lunch. Then my loving boyfriend was just like "ok you need to go home." and I finally gave in and went home to rest. I'm still feeling a little sick today but I really need to be at school and get things done so I'll be leaving for school around 9 (i don't have a first morning class). Then going to my dog walking job and coming home to get some work done. I'll post again soon.

Toria <3

Christmas Break is over! :(

I am very sad to say that my christmas break is over and tomorrow morning I have to go back to school. Christmas break was great and I wish it could go on for a loooooooong time. So I am going to bed soon then up early and off to school. I am going to have make an appointment with my doctor soon. I used to have twitches for all parts of my body and they were frequent and kinda violent and for a long time they when away, and now they're back....ugh! they are mainly in my legs and they happen alot when I'm trying to fall asleep....go figure. So my dad is going to ask my doctor about it next time he goes in which will be either this week or next week. I also have a family therapy meeting  on tuesday and hopfully my older sister will actually come with us this time. But I'm actually not sure how I feel about her coming. I guess we'll see. Hope everyone had a great holiday.

Toria <3

Forgot to post again....my bad

HAPPY NEW YEAR! It's 2011! I spent new years eve with my boyfriend and his family and some friends. It was sooooo much fun! My anxiety has been really good lately, I am very happy about that. I feel really happy and calm. I hope it stays this way. This year I am doing a photo project where I take a picture of myself everyday for the whole year then I put them all together in a video thing. It should be fun. Tomorrow I'm going to my boyfriends and hanging out with him and his brother for a while then he and I are going back to my house for dinner with my uncle and cousin that I havn't seen in a long time. It'll be nice to see them again. I think thats all for this post. Happy New Year! All the best wishes for 2011!

Toria <3